jealousy, jealousy

Jealousy is the fear that because someone has gained something positive in their life you will not be receiving anything yourself. That because good fortune was spent on them, the wealth will run dry before it ever reaches you.

This is a scarcity mindset.

When you entertain these feelings, you are no longer remaining open to receiving that which the universe may hand you. When you are closed off in this way, you likely will have far more difficulty identifying these gifts and drawing them toward you. You might miss them or take them for granted.

The easiest way to tell if an emotion is pure is to identify where it exists within you, where you feel it is housed when it comes up. For instance, for me, I feel that love exists in the heart. As do grief and sorrow. I feel that joy exists in the gut, as does excitement.

Things like jealousy, anger, and worry exist in the mind. They are woven by the ego, layering and growing upon itself. Their existence is not as whole as those of the heart and gut. They only exist when stoked by the mind. This feeds on your energy and can leave you feeling drained, like you are lacking something. It is not cathartic like the other emotions.

For the sake of this post, we will focus on jealousy. But for all of these feelings, you can take a moment whenever they come up to notice where they are housed within you. Take a moment to close your eyes and breathe. As feelings arise, see them as a signal - just like being tired or hungry - and notice where you physically feel them. Notice whether they fill you, clean you out, or leave you drained.

Remember, jealousy is just a form of fear. You can ask yourself: what is it I am afraid of that triggered this jealousy? You can take time to analyze this fear and pick it apart. Is it true? Is it habitual? Is there something you can do about it? For instance, maybe you’re jealous of a friend’s vacation they just went on. You can ask yourself things such as -

Have you been putting in the effort to plan a vacation?

Have you been taking enough time for yourself to rest? Have you set boundaries to allow this rest?

Are there responsibilities you want to run away from, that you’d rather avoid by being somewhere else?

By breaking away and no longer stewing in jealous feelings, we can allow the trigger to become something more educational. We can allow it to show us what it is we have been wanting or needing to do for ourselves. Truth is, these triggers frequently mean we have to roll up our sleeves and do something we don’t want to do to get to where we want to be. On the other hand though, it could just mean we need to be nicer to ourselves and break the habit of believing that self criticism is a sustainable motivator. Sometimes we just need to show integrity on our path, keep going, and keep being patient and open.

See if you can break away from the limiting belief that good fortune can only come to so many. That when good fortune hits another, it means that you were not chosen for that same thing. Good fortune is waiting for you and it will be given to you time and time again. Stay open. Don’t be rigid with your expectation of its form. Be aware of your triggers and what deeper things they can teach. Believe that it will come. Because it will. For everyone. I believe.

(Title inspired by Olivia Rodrigo, obviously.)

Deep breaths,

Hannah