Wake Me Up When It's All Over

I haven't had much advice to give lately because I've been struggling through it. A friend of mine recently asked for some tips on graduating into the "real world" (which - is any of this real? The fact that I graduated a year and one month ago feels unbelievable), and I found myself feeling like a total impostor. How could I be giving someone advice when I don't even know if I'm doing this right? I'm certainly not on top of my game based off my former standards, so it felt strange to be giving pointers to another person. But while talking through some of the things I've found helpful to at least push on, I realized something super important: I couldn't think of a single person I knew that was thriving right now. Can you? Because not one person pops into my head.

We all feel that pressure - whether in a pandemic or not - to thrive. To be on the top of the world, the best version of ourselves that's ever walked the earth. To be constantly growing - upwards and linear with no steps back. We glorify the warrior that's trudged through the mud and made it out the other side. But what about the person that's trudging through the mud right now, unsure whether they'll make it through? No one wants to be there.

I keep thinking about that song "Wake Me Up" by Avicii. It would be so nice to close my eyes and wake up year(s) later when the nightmares of this reality have subsided, when I've learned my lesson and came out the other side all the more stronger. But here we are, in the thick of it all and almost one year in. Oof.

It feels so good to be the person who's made it through the struggle, but no one wants to be smack dab in the middle of it. We all want to be the hero lending a hand to others, but often times we forget that life is an equal give and take. Sometimes we need to be the one asking for help.

The weight of the world is a lot heavier today, so any added problems are often significantly harder to deal with than they normally would. Getting burnt out from life's hard knocks can happen quick, and often faster than you'd expect. I've found myself frustrated at how long it takes to recover today, how much more difficult the little things are. I have needed significantly more rest.

At the beginning of the pandemic while in lockdown we practiced lots of patience. This kind was about sitting around, allowing time to stop and things to end. But now, we must learn patience for ourselves and our path.

I have a note posted on the wall of my bedroom that says "be kind to yourself, good things take time." It's just a little reminder for my eyes to catch, and an important one at that. Not only are the negative emotions of the day difficult to put up with, but the inner critic disappointed in those emotions for being there at all is an added toll. I have become more aware of when that critic is speaking to me, understanding that that talk is not a part of "me" and attempting to let go of it. This is a process. However, I would say that just being aware of this is a victory in itself.

Think of it like this: weight is a product of mass and gravity. You may feel bad because you're carrying less mass - getting less done and needing more rest. But just because you're carrying less mass doesn't mean you're carrying less weight. Gravity is really heavy right now (not literally of course, the world is going through a lot of shared struggle is what I mean). And regardless of the way the mass-to-gravity ratio plays out, the weight you carry with you will always be valid.

We need to give ourselves more credit. Especially right now. And you can do so by celebrating every teeny tiny victory you accomplish.

Face every baby step with a grin and some pride. Because that is how you get out of the mud. Even if you're stuck up to your knees you just have to trust yourself. Maybe you can't envision yourself getting out of the mud anytime soon, so make it your goal for now to just keep moving your feet. You don't always need to incentivize with a silver lining. Just try celebrating the smaller efforts. Imagine them as little love letters to yourself, cheering you on. You don't need the label of the valiant warrior who made it out of the mud, for now just moving is enough. And if you need a more specific task, see it as cultivating patience and self love.

If I was in grade school right now and this was my yearbook, I think it'd require me to paste this iconic quote here: "Just keep swimming."

You got this! And don't forget if you need some help you are allowed to ask that from others.

Deep breaths,

Hannah